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“I Have a Boyfriend” Is a Good Thing

October 18, 2013

 You know the story: you meet a girl who just seems a bit above the rest. The more you talk to her, the more you’d like to get to know her Just when you begin to imagine a solid future between the two of you, you hear these words:

 “So, I told that to my boyfriend, and…”

 How do you respond to the subtlety of information casually wrapped into conversation? Do you sulk on the spot as your fantasy falls away? Do you soldier on as if you never heard it? Is it time to pull out your pua line and invite the unseen boyfriend to cook you two breakfast?

 Your Mindset Governs Your Response

Perhaps it’s not often that the stars align and you find yourself in good conversation with a promising woman. Or so it seems. The truth of the matter is that there are a number of women who can make you just as happy as this one.

 So why do we insist on pushing through with this single target? Because you have a mindset based in scarcity. You believe that this may be “the one” or that you just may never find another like her. You won’t let it go because you have become invested in her, and unknowingly part of your happiness depends on attaining her.

 The Response from an Abundance Mindset

So how does one with a mindset grounded in abundance respond to the new information?

“So…do you have any cute single friends?”

I cannot deny the efficacy of this statement. It’s a subtle disqualification that shows her that she doesn’t hold all the cards. It gives her a way to play matchmaker (a woman’s favorite game, mind you). It gives you a whole host of options that you were too blind to notice beforehand.


Note: When using this line, I’m presupposing there’s decent chemistry between the two of you. If she’s saying “I have a boyfriend” to avoid you, you’ll have no luck with her friends. The discerning of you will tell.


From → Practical Steps

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