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Beauty, Overrated

July 11, 2013

What appears to be the usual spiel of female beauty and confidence turns out to be a very important lesson for men:

 “I said…make me a beautiful woman because I thought I should be beautiful if I was going to be a woman… I went home and started crying talking to my wife and I said ‘I have to make this picture,’ and she said ‘Why?’ And I said, ‘Because I think I’m an interesting woman when I look at myself on screen, and I know that if I met myself at a party I’d never talk to that character because she doesn’t fulfill, physically, the demands that we’re brought up to think women have to have in order to ask them out.’ She said, ‘What are you saying?’ And I said, ‘There’s too many interesting women I have not had the experience to know in this life because I have been brainwashed. And…that was never a comedy for me.”

Emphasis mine.

The real problem with overvaluing beauty starts at the pedestal. The manipulated perceptions created by airbrushed mastery cause us to push beautiful women to heights where they seem unattainable. Even worse, we will opt for beautiful yet problematic, vapid women over women who align with our standards (assuming you have any).

I’m not saying that you shouldn’t be attracted to your partner. Physical attraction has its biological importance. However, its significance is simply overstated. Men before us did not place as great an emphasis on physical attraction; instead, the primary focus was on her potential fitness as a mother: her personality, ability to nurture the children, support his vision and goals, etc.

In essence, these men had standards. If your only occupation is with physical attractiveness, then I urge you to develop some. You can do so by asking questions such as “Is she a good person” or “Does she seem like a giver or a taker,” and hopefully “is she right for me?” Because after a while, what you find “beautiful” will fade from your perception, and you will come to the same realization that men who are successful with women already know: It’s not that big of a deal.

  1. Revo Luzione permalink

    I understand that in pioneer times, a woman was judged on how good a mate she was based on, among other similarly pragmatic criteria, how well she could cook with limited ingredients (ingenuity,) and how quick she could cut & stack a cord of firewood. (physical & mental strength/stamina).

  2. True. Physical beauty is the hook, but the ultimate question should always be “does she add value”?

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