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I Flaked on My Own Date

May 17, 2013

“Hey, I’m going to my buddy’s open mic tonight. You and your roommate should come.”

It was a standard invitation for an ordinary circumstance. Days prior, we had met in a downtown setting. The usual chit-chat escalated to her heightened interest in our few commonalities. Unsure of her chance to strike, she moved her phone from her purse to her fingers, opening the dialpad. A break in conversation allowed her the opportunity:

“What’s your number?” She timidly asked.

I punched my number in, lacking any real enthusiasm in my mind. I wasn’t particularly interested, but a new ‘friend’ couldn’t hurt. Perhaps even a double date with her (cuter, inebriated) roommate wouldn’t hurt either, considering my colleague was chatting her up just a few feet away.

Well, that was that. Then Tuesday happens.

My aforementioned colleague was set to star in his open mic slot. Not the most imaginative setting, but it would get both out of the house and afford the aspiring musician a hint of limelight in front of his hopeful.

So I send the invite out, only to receive a message from my friend just an hour later:

“No go tonight. My voice needs more time.”

And here’s the quandary: Do I cancel? Do I reschedule, shifting the venue to a new spot? Do I apologize profusely, or make up a lie?

Simpler: I do nothing.

I decide not to cancel (after all, I had received no confirmation). I decide not to show in lieu of other activities. I simply went on with my day as normal. I then received a midnight message:

“My bad I didn’t text you back! How was it?”

First ‘flake’ is out of the way. Let the real game begin.

[Since then, the thread has been reopened. She has invited me out twice, though I had prior engagements. The point is moot now, since my friend eventually got her roommate out one-on-one. She was too square for him.]


Some might take this move to be a solid pick-up tactic. Others may find it to be risky or inconsiderate. I call it an astute judgment made in light of the circumstances.


I flaked on my own date. And so did she.


From → Practical Steps

One Comment
  1. Anonymous permalink


    This is very OT. I’m posting this comment because I noticed that you’re a reader of the heartiste blog. Heartiste wrote a blog article recently that I think was dishonest or at least did not tell the full story.

    This was the blog article in question, Confident A-Hole Game:

    Many of us warned him that the images in his article were tampered with by an anonymous troll. He refused to publish many of our comments that exposed the fraud because it doesn’t sit well with his world view. In refusing to publish the original chat logs or to make any kind of retraction, he is at least as guilty as the troll who sent them.

    He likes to pretend that average looking, average income guys can get a harem of girls simply by being extremely confident.. that the only thing standing in the way of these average guys is their beta behaviour. Since most people are average, this is a very good business decision on his part.

    The truth is most guys cannot afford to behave in the way prescribed in that particular article. It is not good game advice. I beckon for you to try to repeat his success(which mind you occurred in the span of 2 hours).

    The original images tell a very different story. These chat logs were from another website who holds a very different and, in my opinion, a far more cynical world view. The conversations were between an actual male model and a girl. It is our opinion that women are as obsessed with looks as men.

    These are some of the links that were sent to roissy. All of them are from one particular thread on one particular forum, “puahate,com”:

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