Stop Caring What Other People Think About You
Imagine you’re a cameraman with access to a one-of-a-kind, HD quality digital video camera. A renowned director has chosen you to aid in capturing an upcoming film. You’re excited about this prospect, yet you realize that you will be one of many cameras on set.
The first day of shooting comes, and your eager attitude has turned into insecurity. Instead of focusing on the picture that your lens captures, you instead focus on other matters: How does my camera look from the view of these other cameras? What if people resent me for having the best camera? Do I look stupid trying to shoot this scene? What does the director think of me?
Destructive thinking? Most definitely.
Instead of focusing on your camera’s appearance from the perspective of other cameramen, why not focus on the quality picture that you are capturing from your lens?
By worrying about what you look like to others, there’s so much you’re missing. You’re failing to appreciate the little things around you. You’re failing to live your life on your own terms. Most importantly, you’re failing to recognize that your happiness comes from within.
Here are two mindsets you can use to prevent an unhealthy obsession with other people’s thoughts:
1) Be Conscious of your Own Value. Like a cameraman with a unique set of lenses, you have a perspective that no one else in this world contains. If you take hold of this truth, you can use your unique perspective of the world to provide order and progress to your community.
Next time you find yourself preoccupied with someone else’s thoughts of you, just remind yourself what the world is missing without your own point of view.
2) Change from “The Observed” to “The Observer.” Now that you know your value, you can now make your own evaluations and judgments about the world around you. Rather than “what do they think,” how about a “what do I think about them” outlook?
This is akin to a technique referred to as “The Filter Switch.” Author Mark Munson describes a student on a date who focused too much on the girl’s opinion of him. In the middle of the date, he “flipped the switch” and began to evaluate his date according to his own standards. His takeaway is so gold I had to include it:
What did change was his perception of himself and his value relative to hers. She was a person he didn’t know well. And it’s healthy and normal to screen and filter people we don’t know well to see if we want them to become part of our lives. This is ostensibly the entire purpose of dates themselves: so that both people can sit down and see if the other person meets their standards and is capable of fulfilling many of their emotional needs.
There you go. Let me know how these techniques work for you. Remember, It’s the little things that change your world.