Skip to content

If She’s Your Center, You’re Doing It Wrong

December 19, 2011

If a woman is at the forefront of your mind, consuming all of your thoughts, then you have some serious re-evaluating to do. Whether or not it is a girl you are pursuing, casually dating, or engaged in a long-term relationship with, the core of this principle still holds (for these purposes, I’ll address the former situations).


For you who is pursuing a female: I want you to pause for just a moment and really consider what it is you are internalizing. Why is every text (or unanswered text) consuming your thoughts and controlling your mood? Do you think “getting the girl” will solve all of your problems and lead you to the land of eternal happiness? Are you, in essence, trying to find yourself in someone else? Will your world fall apart if things don’t work out between the two of you?


The answers to these questions will no doubt vary in degree among different individuals. Perhaps some men find a relationship as a need, while others may have a deep insecurity about ending up alone and unhappy. Nevertheless, it is imperative to bring these insecurities and fears out in the open for a good look at yourself. Really be honest with yourself, acknowledging certain behavior you may not be proud of, or feelings which you are ashamed to admit. If it helps, share them with a close friend that you trust.


While you wrestle with overcome these previously subconscious issues, make a conscious effort to focus on what you do: this could be your work, your passion, your mission, or hobbies of enjoyment. If you don’t have much going, then get out and try new activities. If you’re unsure of your mission or calling, then make your focus on discovering it.


It may seem overwhelming to tackle these deep questions for some at this point, but you don’t need to do this all in one day. Take it all at your own pace. The bottom line is that making a woman (or the pursuit of women) your world is undercutting a healthy fulfillment of the self.


If you wish to keep your eyes on the prize, you need not look very far at all.





  1. Rivelino would agree. That was a superb post!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: