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Video Review: How To Approach Powerfully

July 19, 2013

I’m vaguely familiar with Brent Smith, but I was impressed by this video that was sent to me this week. Although titled “How to Approach Women Powerfully,” the clip alludes to a deeper focus on lifestyle improvement. A summary of the video, along with commentary, is below:

1) Approach from a place of value: The focus should be on giving, not getting. In an approach, you shouldn’t ask yourself “Can I get her number?” Instead, ask yourself “How can I add value/inspire this person?” Emphasizing what you have to offer  will eliminate your anxiety and enrich the experiences of others around you.

2) Stop Giving out Compliments: While genuine, they put you right in the category of every other guy who has been trying to “get.” I agree with this to the extent we’re talking about random compliments based on physical appearance. If she says or does something you like, feel free to praise her personality.

3) Don’t Ask for Her number; Give yours out instead: This is a piece of advice that I tend to agree with, and due to conventional wisdom and pua nonsense, I understand I’m in the minority. I don’t believe in it as a blanket rule, though. You have to calibrate between those girls who would prefer you initiate contact and those who are essentially pulling out their phones to get your number (the latter will typically text you their name right after. Take the hint).

What Brent is saying here, however, does not show a problem with asking for her number. Instead, he takes issue for getting the number for the number’s sake. I could not agree more. The contact information should be used for a further meeting or plan. The “shoot me a text” phrase appears solid.

4) Let them be interested in you: Give a woman space to become interested. Trying to get her to like you just gets in the way, making you come off as desperate. Guess what happens? The spark leaves.

5) Stop going out on dates: This is my only point of disagreement. Brent may have an argument that the traditional girl that wants to go on dates is a thing of the past, but the point on the whole is filled with generalizations. There are women who are traditional, and there are men who are looking for more than just to hook up with as many women as possible. Thus, spending time with a woman is merited.

Note how I said “spending time” and not “date.” A date is something you do with a girlfriend. Keep your meet-ups light, fun, and low-key.

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From → Practical Steps

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