3 Keys to Strengthen Your Affirmations
“As a rational, logical person, trying to tell myself I am something I am not is impossible.”
So who told you who you were not? How do you know you are not that person buried under thoughts? I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt on knowing yourself (I’d be pretentious not to), but the question is whose standards are you using to determine confidence/coolness/etc?
The reason why seemingly “false” affirmations don’t work is because they come without feeling. If one just repeats a phrase to himself “I am confident and good looking” then they are predisposed to view it as a contrary, false view.
On the other hand, if one visualizes himself like so and gathers the requisite feelings he would feel in the state he is affirming, then the way he looks at himself will change, and reality will follow.
I’m not a fan of doing affirmations for results though. It’s best to do them with the purpose of feeling better, so you know that your happiness is still truly within your control.
I should expound on 3 key points that will boost your understanding of affirmations, as well as their utility for you:
1) You have the power to control your reality, and thus, your happiness.
We make the mistake of letting our world dictate our thoughts, which then dictates our feelings, and recycles into an endless pattern of “the universe hates me.”
A more productive view is to take control of your thoughts, and see reality as you would like to. Jake from dating in the zone played with this idea when girls would always quickly turn their heads away when looking at him. He changed his judgment from “Those girls are out of my league” to “I’m so valuable that these girls are trying to reject me before I can reject them!” His feelings became positive, and his reality subsequently changed.
Your mind is a powerful tool. You have the power to turn negative judgments into positive ones, and thus control your own happiness.
2) Feel your affirmation as if it is presently true.
What if you told yourself before a big game that you were a champion? Would it make a difference, no matter how many times you repeated it?
Now what if you pictured yourself winning the game? You picture how you feel celebrating, accomplishing a great feat, and finally lifting the trophy. This is the clear difference between tricking yourself and believing in yourself. Instead of “becoming” what you tell yourself you are, you can simply “be” by capturing all the necessary emotions that you would have if it were true in the present.
3) Your goal is to feel good, not to gain results.
Undoubtedly, affirmations have value for changing your reality, as noted above. However, do not fall into the trap of “once I become X [whatever it is you are affirming], then I will be happy.” Looking for results is still needy. Your goal is simply to change your feelings. Once you get to that point where you can control your happiness, results should not matter because you’re not longer dependent on them for good emotions. Sounds paradoxical, but I’m glad to discuss this further if it needs any clarification.